Military divorce mediation that travels with you
Deployments, PCS moves, and duty schedules make a traditional divorce harder for military families. Virtual mediation lets you and your spouse work out parenting, support, and military benefits together, whether you’re across town or across the world. I’m Sara Khan, and I help service members and spouses reach agreements built around military life.
Book a Free 15-Minute Consultation Call (703) 727-8839Free and confidential · Virtual sessions anywhere in the U.S. or overseas · In person in Northern Virginia
Reviewed by Sara M. Khan, JD, Principal Mediator · Updated October 2026
What military couples bring to mediation
We cover the issues every divorce has, plus the ones only military families face:
Military retired pay
Whether and how to share the marital portion of retired pay, and what that share is based on.
Survivor Benefit Plan
Whether former spouse SBP coverage will be elected, and who pays the premium.
TSP & savings
Dividing Thrift Savings Plan balances and other accounts fairly.
Housing & BAH
What happens to on-base or BAH-funded housing, and support while the transition happens.
Deployment-ready parenting
Parenting plans with clear provisions for deployments, training, and family care plans.
PCS & relocation
Long-distance schedules, travel costs, and virtual time when orders take a parent elsewhere.
Federal rules sit on top of state divorce law
The Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act (USFSPA) lets state courts treat disposable military retired pay as divisible property, but direct payment from DFAS and Survivor Benefit Plan coverage each come with their own requirements and deadlines. For divorces finalized after December 2016, the divisible share is generally tied to the member’s rank and service at the time of divorce.
Military families also need parenting plans that anticipate what civilian plans don’t: deployments, short-notice training, PCS orders, and a parent who may be overseas for a year. Working this out in mediation lets you plan for those realities instead of returning to court every time orders change.
I’m a mediator, not your lawyer. Benefit-division orders have to be drafted by an attorney and accepted by the paying agency, so I always recommend each of you have independent counsel review the agreement before anything is signed or filed.
From first call to a written agreement
Free consultation
A 15-minute call to see whether mediation fits your situation and answer your first questions.
Private intake
A confidential screening call with each of you, plus a checklist of the documents to gather, such as your LES, retirement points or service history, and SBP information.
Joint sessions
Focused virtual sessions (or in person in Northern Virginia) to work through parenting, support, and every benefit, one decision at a time.
Written MOU
A detailed Memorandum of Understanding you each take to your own attorney, who turns it into the final agreement and any benefit orders.
Family mediation pricing
Fees are for the mediation as a whole, not per person, and most couples split them. Published prices mean no surprises:
- Family Clarity Session — $1,200. Up to 4 hours: a private screening call with each of you and one 2-hour joint session, with a written summary of where you agree and what’s still open.
- Full Family Mediation — $3,600. Up to 14 hours: up to three joint sessions covering parenting, support, and property, plus a comprehensive Memorandum of Understanding.
- Complex Family Mediation — $5,400. Up to 22 hours for higher-conflict matters or significant assets, business interests, or blended-family considerations.
- Hourly — $300/hour, shared by both of you, with a 2-hour minimum per joint session and no retainer.
Why work with Sara
I spent close to two decades in federal consulting and legal operations, much of it alongside defense and government organizations. I understand the vocabulary and the pace of military life, and I schedule sessions around duty hours and time zones, including early mornings and evenings for families stationed abroad.
In mediation I stay neutral: I don’t take sides, and I don’t tell either of you what to do. My job is to make sure every benefit gets put on the table and that you both leave understanding what you agreed to.
- J.D., University of the District of Columbia David A. Clarke School of Law; George Mason University alum
- Close to two decades in federal consulting, legal operations, and organizational strategy
- Mediation training: 40-hour basic mediation, 24-hour family mediation, and a 4-hour Virginia Judicial System orientation
- Neutral by design: I don’t practice law, give legal advice, or represent either side
Military divorce questions
Can we mediate if one of us is deployed or stationed overseas?
Yes. Sessions are held virtually, so we can meet across time zones. I’ll schedule around duty hours and connectivity, and we can break sessions into shorter blocks if needed.
Will mediation cover military retired pay and SBP?
Yes. We’ll discuss whether and how retired pay will be shared and whether former spouse SBP coverage will be provided. Your attorney then drafts the order DFAS requires. SBP elections have strict deadlines after a divorce, so it’s important to address them early.
What happens to our parenting plan if there’s a PCS move or deployment?
We build that into the plan from the start: who cares for the children during a deployment, how schedules change when orders come, how travel costs are shared, and how the deployed parent stays connected.
Do we still need attorneys?
I recommend it. I don’t give legal advice or represent either of you. Many service members can also get free legal assistance through their installation’s legal office to review an agreement.
Is mediation confidential?
Yes. Mediation is private, and what’s said in sessions stays there, which helps protect your career and your family’s privacy.
More answers on the full FAQ page.
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Ready to talk it through calmly?
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Book a Free Consultation Call (703) 727-8839