Divorce mediation for Foreign Service families, wherever you’re posted
Foreign Service life means overseas tours, unaccompanied assignments, and moves every few years. A divorce on top of that can feel impossible to manage from post. I’m Sara Khan, and I help Foreign Service couples work out parenting, support, and retirement benefits together virtually, with one of you in Washington and the other on another continent if that’s where life has you.
Book a Free 15-Minute Consultation Call (703) 727-8839Free and confidential · Virtual sessions anywhere in the U.S. or overseas · In person in Northern Virginia
Reviewed by Sara M. Khan, JD, Principal Mediator · Updated October 2026
What Foreign Service couples bring to mediation
We cover the full picture, including the parts that are unique to Foreign Service careers:
Foreign Service retirement
How the marital portion of the annuity will be shared, and the former spouse rules that apply to your retirement system.
Survivor benefits
Whether a former spouse survivor annuity will be provided and how its cost is handled.
TSP & savings
Dividing Thrift Savings Plan balances and other accounts fairly.
Parenting across borders
Schedules for children at post, at boarding school, or living stateside, including travel and virtual time.
Moves & onward assignments
How future bids, onward postings, and home leave affect the parenting plan.
Support & transition
Child and spousal support, and a realistic plan for a trailing spouse rebuilding a career.
Your career has its own set of rules
Foreign Service retirement systems have former spouse provisions that differ from other federal plans, and some apply automatically depending on how long you were married during service. The details matter, so we make sure every retirement and survivor benefit is discussed and that your agreement flags the questions your attorney needs to resolve.
Parenting plans also have to work across countries, time zones, and assignment cycles. Mediation gives you room to design a plan around your family’s actual postings rather than a standard schedule built for two parents who live ten minutes apart.
I’m a mediator, not your lawyer. Benefit-division orders have to be drafted by an attorney and accepted by the paying agency, so I always recommend each of you have independent counsel review the agreement before anything is signed or filed.
From first call to a written agreement
Free consultation
A 15-minute call to see whether mediation fits your situation and answer your first questions.
Private intake
A confidential screening call with each of you, plus a checklist of the documents to gather, such as retirement statements, TSP balances, and your assignment timeline.
Joint sessions
Focused virtual sessions (or in person in Northern Virginia) to work through parenting, support, and every benefit, one decision at a time.
Written MOU
A detailed Memorandum of Understanding you each take to your own attorney, who turns it into the final agreement and any benefit orders.
Family mediation pricing
Fees are for the mediation as a whole, not per person, and most couples split them. Published prices mean no surprises:
- Family Clarity Session — $1,200. Up to 4 hours: a private screening call with each of you and one 2-hour joint session, with a written summary of where you agree and what’s still open.
- Full Family Mediation — $3,600. Up to 14 hours: up to three joint sessions covering parenting, support, and property, plus a comprehensive Memorandum of Understanding.
- Complex Family Mediation — $5,400. Up to 22 hours for higher-conflict matters or significant assets, business interests, or blended-family considerations.
- Hourly — $300/hour, shared by both of you, with a 2-hour minimum per joint session and no retainer.
Why work with Sara
Close to two decades in federal consulting and legal operations gave me a working knowledge of how federal careers and benefits fit together. I schedule sessions across time zones, including early mornings and evenings Eastern, so neither of you has to take a call at 3 a.m. from post.
In mediation I stay neutral: I don’t take sides, and I don’t tell either of you what to do. My job is to make sure every benefit gets put on the table and that you both leave understanding what you agreed to.
- J.D., University of the District of Columbia David A. Clarke School of Law; George Mason University alum
- Close to two decades in federal consulting, legal operations, and organizational strategy
- Mediation training: 40-hour basic mediation, 24-hour family mediation, and a 4-hour Virginia Judicial System orientation
- Neutral by design: I don’t practice law, give legal advice, or represent either side
Foreign Service divorce questions
Can we mediate if one of us is posted overseas?
Yes. Sessions are held virtually and scheduled across time zones. Because I’m a private mediator, I can work with you wherever you are posted.
Will mediation cover Foreign Service retirement benefits?
Yes. We’ll talk through the retirement annuity, survivor benefits, and the TSP. Because Foreign Service retirement systems have their own former spouse rules, your attorney should confirm how they apply and draft any required court order.
How do we plan parenting time when we move every few years?
We build flexibility in from the start: how schedules shift when a new assignment begins, how travel and R&R time are used, how costs are shared, and how the children stay connected to both parents between visits.
Do we still need attorneys?
I recommend it. I don’t give legal advice or represent either of you. Each of you should have an attorney review the Memorandum of Understanding before the agreement is finalized.
Is mediation confidential?
Yes. What’s said in mediation stays private, which many Foreign Service officers and specialists value given their roles.
More answers on the full FAQ page.
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Ready to talk it through calmly?
A free, confidential 15-minute call to see whether mediation fits your family. No pressure and no obligation.
Book a Free Consultation Call (703) 727-8839