Virginia separation agreement checklist

A separation agreement is only as good as the details in it. Use this list to make sure nothing is left out when you and your spouse write down your terms. Work through it together, in mediation or on your own, and take the finished draft to a Virginia-licensed attorney for review.

Why a written agreement matters

In Virginia, a court may affirm, ratify, and incorporate a valid agreement into a divorce decree (Va. Code § 20-109.1). Once it is part of the decree, it can be enforced like any other part of the decree. For couples with no minor children, a signed separation agreement is also one requirement for the shorter six-month separation period (Va. Code § 20-91(A)(9)). See how long divorce takes in Virginia.

1. Basics

• Full legal names, addresses, and dates of birth for both spouses.
• Date of marriage and the date you began living separate and apart. Write the separation date down.
• Names and birth dates of any children, and a statement of who has lived where.
• Whether either spouse is in the military or a federal employee posted away from Virginia (see military and federal employee divorce).

2. Financial disclosure

Agreements work best when both people have seen the same numbers. Full financial disclosure is also something Virginia law looks at if a mediated agreement is ever challenged later (Va. Code § 8.01-581.26).

• Recent tax returns (several years) and W-2s or 1099s for both spouses.
• Pay stubs and any bonus, equity, or stock compensation details.
• Bank, savings, and brokerage statements.
• Retirement account statements (401(k), IRA, TSP, pension, and similar).
• Mortgage, loan, credit card, and student loan statements.
• Insurance policies (life, health, auto, home, disability).
• Business interests, cryptocurrency, and anything else with value.

3. Property

Virginia courts sort property into marital and separate. In general, property acquired during the marriage and before the last separation is presumed marital, and property owned before the marriage or received as a gift or inheritance from someone other than the spouse is generally separate. The details are in Va. Code § 20-107.3. Your agreement can set its own terms.

• List each major asset and who keeps it: home, vehicles, accounts, furniture, valuables.
• Note which assets each of you considers separate, and why.
• Decide how any asset will be valued, and the date used.
• Decide how the household belongings will be divided, and the timing of the move-out.
• Say who is responsible for retitling accounts, vehicles, and deeds, and by what date.

4. The home

The home is often the biggest item. Our guide on who keeps the house in a Virginia divorce goes deeper.

• Who keeps the home, or will it be sold?
• If one spouse keeps it: buyout amount, how it is paid, and the date.
• Refinancing: who refinances, and by what date, so the other spouse comes off the loan.
• If sold: who lists it, price decisions, repairs, and how proceeds are split.
• Who pays the mortgage, taxes, insurance, and utilities until the transfer or sale.

5. Debts

• List every debt, whose name is on it, and who will pay it.
• Credit cards: close joint accounts or set a payoff plan.
• What happens if the paying spouse misses a payment on a joint debt.
• Whether either spouse needs to refinance or remove the other from a loan.

6. Retirement and benefits

Virginia law allows a court to award a share of the "marital share" of a retirement plan, payable as benefits are received (Va. Code § 20-107.3(G)). Dividing most plans requires a separate court-ready order drafted by a licensed attorney, such as a QDRO, a COAP for federal civilian plans, a TSP order, or a military retired pay order. Olive Branch does not draft those. For federal benefits, see our federal benefits settlement checklist.

• List each plan, its current statement, and the marital share, if any.
• Decide the percentage or amount each spouse receives, and when.
• Survivor benefit or beneficiary terms, if any.
• Name who will arrange for the attorney to draft the order, and who pays for it.

7. Spousal support

• Whether support will be paid, or each spouse waives it.
• Amount, start date, and end date or event that ends it.
• How payments are made (direct deposit, date each month).
• What events end support: for example, death or remarriage. Say so in the agreement.
• Whether the amount can be changed later, and how.

8. Children: custody, visitation, and support

If you have children, these terms often fill the longest part of the agreement. Our guides on custody schedules and holiday co-parenting have examples. A written parenting plan can stay with the agreement.

• Legal custody: who makes decisions about health, education, and religion.
• Physical custody and the regular weekly schedule.
• Holidays, school breaks, birthdays, and summer.
• Exchanges: where, when, and who transports.
• Travel, relocation, and passport terms.
• Child support: amount, who pays, how, and when it ends.
• Health insurance for the children and how uninsured medical costs are shared.
• Child care, school, activities, and college expenses.
• How you will make decisions and resolve future disagreements, such as returning to mediation first.

9. Taxes

Under IRS rules, alimony payments under agreements executed after 2018 are not deductible by the payer and are not income to the recipient, and child support is never deductible or income (IRS Topic 452). Taxes can get more complicated than that, so ask a tax professional about your own case.

• Which spouse claims each child, and in which years.
• Filing status for the year of separation or divorce.
• Who is responsible for any past-due taxes or refunds.
• Tax effects of selling the home or moving retirement funds.

10. Insurance and protection

• Health insurance for each spouse after the divorce, and for the children.
• Life insurance to secure support, with named beneficiaries.
• Updates to beneficiary designations on retirement accounts and policies.
• Auto and home insurance changes after retitling.

11. Everything else

• Pets: who keeps them and who pays vet costs.
• Name changes.
• Attorney fees: how they are handled.
• Exchange of documents and future disclosure obligations.
• What happens if either spouse breaks the agreement.
• How you will settle future disagreements about the agreement (for example, mediation first).
• Signatures, notarization if your attorney advises it, and the date.

Before you sign

How mediation helps

Going through this list on your own can be stressful. In mediation, Sara M. Khan, J.D., takes you through each item with both spouses in the room (or virtually), helps you get the numbers on the table, and writes your decisions into a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU). The MOU is a non-court document that your attorneys can use to prepare the formal agreement.

Sara is not an attorney and does not give legal advice. She does not draft court-ready orders such as a COAP, TSP order, military retired pay order, or QDRO. Those go to a licensed attorney. A written MOU is $600 and a written parenting plan is $450. The Full Family Mediation package is $3,600 and covers up to 14 hours. Our readiness quiz can help you decide if you are ready to start.

This guide is general information, not legal advice. Olive Branch Mediation is a private mediation practice, not a law firm. For advice about your situation, talk with a Virginia-licensed attorney.